fredbassett | Fred's Birthday Comment!Porn Party - All Welcome!

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Fred's Birthday Comment!Porn Party - All Welcome!

Thank you all for your wonderful birthday cards and e-prezzies and a very special thank you to the lovely person who has put a year's paid shiny new extension on my LJ!!!!!! *SQUISHES WONDERFUL F-LIST*

So welcome to the comment!porn party, as before, anything goes (see previous post!), there are a few suggestions there, and I'll edit this one throughout the day, and as before, if we get enough here to minimise the threads, anthologies will appear later for those on dial-ups!!

So, without further delay .................. let the orgy begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Connor skidded down the corridor and hurtled into the meeting room like an over-exuberant puppy diving onto a sofa.

It wasn’t a good idea to be late. You missed the biscuits if you were late.

“Sorry I’m ……….” the words died in his throat. Something was wrong. Something was terribly, awfully wrong. Parallel universe kind of wrong.

The object of his dismay sat there in the middle of the table. Mocking him. Mocking all of them.

A huge, over-sized fruit bowl. Containing fruit. Lots and lots of fruit. Looking healthy. Disgustingly, tauntingly healthy.

There wasn’t a biscuit in sight.

Lester’s temporary secretary smiled brightly at him and bustled out of the room, looking pleased with herself.

Connor sighed.

It was going to be a long meeting.

Connor/Ryan/Stephen/Voyeur!Nick - sex pollen

The only warning they had was a cloying sweet smell in the air but even if they’d known what meant they still wouldn’t have been able to stop what happened having no biohazard gear.

It hit Connor first, probably because of his smaller size. He felt heat creep up his face and along his limbs as heat pooled in his belly.

Stephen looked utterly shocked as Connor’s hands slipped under his shirt, warm against his skin, flat against his abs. He was moving to push them away when it hit him and he turned the push into a pull until Connor was pressed up against him, lips against his own.

Ryan made a strange strangled noise off to the side which Connor and Stephen were completely oblivious to before he moved forward and slid one hand down Connor’s back, the other tangling in Stephen’s hair, pulling his mouth from Connor’s so Ryan could kiss him.

Connor whined against Ryan’s neck, pressing his over heated body into the soldier’s, rubbing himself a little against the strap of his holster.

Ryan pulled his mouth away from Stephen’s, removing his hand from his hair as well. His mouth went to Connor’s who groaned at the touch, the hand went to Stephen’s belt, opening it and his trousers, pushing them down over his hips.

Ryan’s hand clenched on Stephen’s hip as his hands opened Ryan’s own pants. Stephen stepped out of his own pants and helped Ryan out of his holsters so he could kick the pants off. Ryan never broke his kiss with Connor even as Stephen’s hands brushed across his cock.

Stephen pulled his shirt over his head before reaching greedily for Connor’s pants. He groped the other man lightly as he undid the buttons and kissed him as the resulting groan broke his kiss with Ryan.

Ryan watched them for a moment before reaching for the zip of his tac vest, the edges fell open to reveal a slightly sweaty shirt, he pushed the vest off and tugged the shirt over his head.

He slid him hands under Connor’s shirt and Connor whined as he had to stop kissing Stephen to allow Ryan to pull it over his head.

Ryan kissed Connor, tangling his hands in his hair and groaning into his mouth as Stephen pressed up behind him, cock sliding along the crack of his ass and hand sliding around his hip to grasp his cock.

Ryan pulled one of his hands from Connor’s hair and ran it down the slightly sweaty body before sliding it in one long pull from the base to the head of Connor’s cock. Connor twitched forward, swearing into the kiss.

Stephen was rubbing faster now, sliding a little raggedly in long hot slides along Ryan’s back and his hand was starting to move faster, a hot tight squeeze along his cock. Connor wasn’t going to last much longer either, he was thrusting a little helplessly into Ryan’s fist and mumbling half formed words into his mouth.

It was Stephen who came first, rubbing cum from the curve of Ryan’s ass to the small of his back before draping himself over Ryan, hand still moving.

Connor came with a strange half gasp, half moan and a half dozen thrusts, still kissing Ryan as he came.

That was enough for Ryan, the feel of Connor coming pressed so close to him was enough and he lost his feet as he came, bringing them all down to the ground as he twitched.

The strange orange plant waved gently in the wind, it’s large flowers dangling prettily and Nick stood up just out of range of the pollen and wiped his hand on the grass before zipping up his pants.

Flack/Colby: voice

Colby’s voice was low and slightly dangerous at the most normal of times, but when it was sex roughened it was worthy of porn.

Don could feel it rolling over him as Colby worked his way down his body, words almost like caresses as he explained exactly what he was going to do.

“I’m going to suck you off Don, gonna swallow you down till my nose is pressed up against your skin and I can barely breathe.”

Don shuddered as Colby followed his voice with his fingers, running them lightly up his cock.

“You’re gonna want to thrust up, you’re gonna want to fuck my face, but I’m not going to let you, I’m going to hold you down and do it nice and slow until you’re fucking begging to come, but I won’t let you. I’m going to pull off then and find the lube.”

Colby rubbed a finger around Don’s puckered hole as he twitched under his hand.

“I’m going to open you up slowly, fucking your prostate till you can’t lie still and you’re fucking yourself back on my fingers. I’ll know you’re ready then and I’ll push into you and you’ll be so tight Don, so tight and so hot and even if I want to go slow I won’t be able to.”

Don was shuddering now, reaching up for some contact but Colby just smiled at him.

“I’m going to push you up onto your knees and I’m going to bite along your shoulders, gonna leave hickies and teeth marks, all while I push into you, hard and fast, getting a little ragged as I get close. Your cock will be leaking all over the blanket and you’ll be begging for me to touch you and I finally will, right when I’m on the edge. I’ll wrap my hand around you and you’ll break the rhythm, thrusting into it and you’ll come so hard I’ll have to hold you up.”

Colby leant up the bed and kissed him and Don came hard enough to see stars.

Hodgins/Connor - Bugs (Bones)

Anyone would say Jack and Connor had a lot in common, their conspiracy theories; their working for the government, what they don’t have in common is a love of insects.

Connor can’t stand them…they terrify him. Connor had found one good thing about that though, Jack’s idea of soothing almost always turned into sex and Connor never has a problem with sex.

A soothing hand rubbing across his shoulders would dip down his back; trailing lower until it was grazing across the top of his ass, or if Jack was feeling less sneaky groping him.

A soft kiss never stayed that way, they always got harder and deeper until Connor was thrusting helplessly against Jack, clutching at his shoulders.

Comforting whispers turned into propositions and promises hissed into his ear.

None of these were bad things though, because even if Jack didn’t comfort well what he did do was even better at distracting him from the bugs, because when Jack was touching him, Connor never could think of anything else.

Seeley Booth/Nick Cutter - control

Seeley Booth was not one of those people who dressed in leather shorts and liked being called a slut while they were lead around by leash and a dog collar. He wasn’t. That was the truth. Seeley Booth did not like being whipped or spanked in the bedroom. He didn’t. That was the truth. Seeley Booth did not like being tied up, did not like being told exactly how and what was going to happen to him in the bedroom. He didn’t. That... Okay, that bit wasn’t quite as true as the others.

Booth was always, always nervous about the idea of being tied up. But… he let Nick do it. The rolling Scottish lilt, the smooth of calloused hands down his twitching chest, it calmed him. It let him give Nick the control he wanted to let go of so badly. So as he breathed a soft sigh, feeling Nick’s splayed fingers on his belly, he relaxed, letting his hands slump in the bonds that tied them to the bedpost.

“Good… That’s it…” and there was the voice.

Booth turned his head towards it, quietly seeking reassurance once more, “Nick?”

“Right here, Seeley,” and, God, that was how his name should be pronounced, “You know I’m right here til you ask for more.”

He sighed again, almost purring, “I’d like more now, please.”

He could hear the smile in Nick’s voice as his hand stroked over Booth’s belly, “Alright then, Seeley. You’ll get it.”

The low voiced promise made a shiver run from Booth’s belly all the way up to his bound hands. Almost as though Nick’s hand, resting so harmlessly there, had contained an electrical current. He squirmed a little against his bonds, not testing them, just reiterating the control he was giving up.

“You’ll get it, Seeley,” Nick murmured again, tracing fingers up his chest, “I know you have sensitive nipples. I think I knew that before you did. So, I think I’ll start with those. Just… touching… perhaps…” there was a wicked chuckle, “No. You like it harder than that. I’d pinch them, Seeley, make you gasp.”

The hand rested teasingly, splayed on his sternum, and Booth knew, he knew, that it wouldn’t go anywhere til Nick had finished speaking. Booth looked at the hand, resting so innocently on his chest and let his head fall back on to the pillow with a groan as Nick kept talking.

“But pinching them wouldn’t make you moan, and I do like hearing the noises you make. Biting your nipples would though. So I’ll have to do that. Bite them and suck on them until you squirm underneath me.”

The amusement and desire could be clearly heard in Nick’s voice, “But I couldn’t leave you all stirred up like that. Aroused, wanting. I’d want a kiss first though. You’re a damn good kisser, Seeley, even bound, especially bound. All lips and tongue and passion. Could kiss you all bloody night.”

Booth couldn’t stop himself, he groaned gutturally, which made Nick chuckle and continue, “But kissin’ isn’t enough, is it? Not for either of us. You need to feel skin-on-skin. You need me to pin you to the mattress.”

Another sound, a low whine, left Booth, making Nick’s hand press gently down on his chest, “Patience, Seeley…” the hand flexed a little, a soothing gesture, “I’d prep you before I did anything else. I don’t want to hurt you, and you don’t like pain. Slowly stroking from the inside until you pushed back against me, making those noises you know I can’t get enough of.”

Booth shuddered, knees involuntarily sliding apart at Nick’s words, “You know what comes next, Seeley. Tell me what comes next.”

Half lidded eyes blinked hazily at him, “Fuck me, please Nick, fuck me.”

The hand on his chest clenched, and Nick moved…

Charlie Eppes/Connor Temple: submissive (Numb3rs)

Charlie’s life is about submitting, he submits to his Math, to Don’s wishes, but he never thought submitting to another person would be so satisfying.

Charlie had never been fucked before, he’d never had someone sprawled across his back, pressing him down into the mattress, until he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, until even the math disappeared and all he could feel was the solid warmth of another man’s body spread out over his.

He’d never known how much he’d wanted it until he’d met Connor, all floppy hair and non threatening geekyness and followed him back to his hotel room.

Colby Granger/Stephen Hart: fumble (Numb3rs)

Colby fumbled at Stephen’s belt as they stumbled in the door. It wasn’t gentle, neither of them wanted it.

Colby’s thoughts were full of David’s disappointed looks and cold comments. Stephen’s full of Nick’s shocked face and distance.

Neither of them wanted gentle tonight.

Colby gasped for breath as he pushed Stephen to his knees, his head resting against the hallway wall.

Stephen knees thumped onto the carpet, skidding a little and the burn sent shivers of pain into him.

His fingernails dug into Colby’s skin as he tugged his own pants down, hand wrapping just a little too hard around his cock.

Colby got impatient, tangling his fingers into Stephen’s hair and tugging him forward. Stephen let him, following the tug until Colby’s fingers pressed hard into his scalp and his cock was pressed against his lips.

Stephen flicked his tongue out and Colby groaned, thrusting forward, pressing past the barrier of his lips into the wet warmth of his mouth.

Stephen fought not to gag as Colby thrust into his mouth again, hand on his hair holding him still.

Stephen earned a groan as he hollowed his cheeks on Colby’s next thrust. He reached a hand out behind him to help keep himself upright and worked the other along his cock, hard and fast, matching Colby’s thrusts into his mouth.

Colby’s free hand was lying along Stephen’s jaw, thumb pressing into the bone, an ache mirroring the ache in his jaw muscles.

Despite the pain he was so close, he swept his thumb across the head of his cock at the end of each stroke, which were becoming more ragged every moment.

He came with a bright light behind his eyelids and an aching jaw. Colby held him up and used the relaxing of his muscles to fuck him deeper and harder until he came buried so deep in his throat Stephen couldn’t even taste the come.

Colby finally dropped him to the floor and Stephen lay there feeling even emptier then he had before.

Colby Granger/David Sinclair/Charlie Eppes - trust

There had to be trust involved… Charlie couldn’t even begin to work out the trust metrics that would go with what he saw as he walked around the corner into what he thought was an empty office. David and Colby, Colby and David. Both with pants pulled down around their hips and shirts open. David pressing Colby against the wall, mouth latched onto his neck as they rutted against each other. Colby, his neck arched until the muscles corded, mouth hanging open slackly and eyes scrunched shut.

“Ohh…”

The breathy noise that escaped Charlie wasn’t loud, but it was enough to have both men reaching for their guns. Charlie couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran through him at the thought that they hadn’t taken off their holsters or their weapons to fuck each other. The tension left both men as they saw him, wide eyed and flushed in the doorway. They exchanged a look, a grin crossing David’s face that made Colby snort back a smile and shake his head.

“Oh man, Don’s so gonna kill us…” he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards Charlie, adjusting the hardness between his thighs as he went.

The grin never left David’s face, “What a way to go…”

Charlie barely had enough time to wonder, ‘What…?’ before lips, two sets, attached themselves to his mouth and neck.

Hands were everywhere, skin was everywhere, pressing and pinching and rubbing in ways that Charlie thought couldn’t possibly exist. Not mathematically. Not… oohhh… not… Thought left him, math and trust metrics left him. Now only skin, sensation and trusting the men he could feel in him and around him to piece him back together when he fell apart remained.

Another hard thrust, a pair of hands stroking down his belly and two sets of lips on his, and Charlie fell…

Connor McManus/Ryan: virgin, guns (Boondock Saints)

Murphy’s death was the death of Connor, the blood was on his hands and in his mind and he couldn’t think anymore.

Da decided America was getting to hot and took him back to Ireland but he couldn’t stay, he couldn’t pretend to be with family when his only kin was lying cold in the ground.

He couldn’t do God’s work when he couldn’t be sure of anything anymore, and he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure they were doing the right thing, Christ, sometimes he isn’t even sure that God is listening.

He’d followed God’s laws for so long, been penitent and sacrificed and all it had lead to was blood and death and emptiness and he didn’t want that anymore.

He’s been a good Catholic boy, he’d never touched a woman, or God forbid a man, because God had forbid it no matter how much he may have wanted it.

When he’d bumped into the tall solidly built man in the bar he hadn’t consciously decided to do anything. He really hadn’t, but when the man’s dark eyes met his and the hand that held him steady lingered for a little too long it barely took the subtle flick of eyes towards the door before Connor was moving.

The gun shoved in the back of his jeans dug into his back as the other man pressed him up against the alley brick. Big hands framed his hips and the dark haired man sank to his knees, taking Connor’s jeans with him.

The first touch of lips against his cock forced out an exhale that was half groan half curse and he could feel the man smile around him.

He cursed again when the warm mouth left him and glanced down to see why. The other man’s lips were red and wet and he was grinning.

“You want to call something out, you could try my name. It’s Ryan.”

And wasn’t that just fucking hot.

When Ryan’s lips touched him again it was all Connor could do not to come. He heard Ryan’s zipper released and thumped his head back against the wall. He recognised the heavy rustle of wanking half clothed, it reminded him of Murphy, both of them lying there in the dark, trying to ignore but secretly savouring the steady rustles and bitten off groans.

It took him a long moment for Connor to get his mouth to work, he’d open it to speak only to be distracted by a movement or a touch of fingers.

“I’m Connor.”

Ryan twitches at that in a way which is very interesting and instantly forgotten as the movement also includes a groan which spreads into him and pushes him over the edge into white and eternity and heaven.

Ryan’s name is tangled with Murphy’s as he collapses against the wall.

Connor/Speed: Motorcycle (CSI:Miami)

Connor had never been on a motorbike before he met Speed and he’s not sure he wants to do it again without him. Mostly because he’d embarrass himself if he did it again.

Not because he’d crash or look like a dork, but because motorcycles had become his biggest turn on.

The first time he’d gotten on a bike Speed had pulled him up behind him and wrapped Connor’s arms around his waist. He’d wiggled back until he was comfortable, until his ass was pressing right up against Connor’s groin and Connor was so close he could feel the muscles of his back shifting as he started the bike.

His ass shifted and pressed against Connor’s groin as Speed lifted his leg to kick down on the starter and the accidental rubbing was not helping!

Speed skidded the back tire of the bike out a little as he pulled away and Connor pressed his face into the back of Speed’s leathers.

Connor could feel the muscles of Speed’s thighs shift against his legs as Speed’s weight shifted around corners.

He couldn’t help it, he was hard before they’d gone fifty feet and he winced as Speed pressed into him as he shifted. Connor felt the slight pause and flushed with embarrassment.

He felt Speed slow the bike to an easier speed and grip his hand and almost flinched expecting to have them pushed off his body. But Speed just slid Connor’s hand down his torso until he squeezed Connor’s hand over the bulge of his own groin.

Speed lifted his hand back to the handlebars and accelerated again and Connor smiled into the leather of his back.

Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones/Connor Temple - secrets

Connor never used to be a dab hand at keeping secrets. He was the kid that no-one told about the surprise party because you just knew that he’d blurt out the wrong thing at the wrong time. So it surprised no-one more than Connor when he realised, curled between the two warm bodies of his lovers, that he was part of not one, but two, incredibly large, possibly world-ending secrets.

“Thinkin’ loudly again,” the lilting voice of one lover murmured into his chest.

“Make him quiet?” the other mused in the general area of his shoulder blades.

“Why not?” came the nonchalant response.

As the two warm bodies shifted as one, moving down his own, Connor realised he was doomed. They could pull all his secrets from him, all his… oh… knowledge about the… right there… anomalies. But as he whined, arched, purred and squirmed, Connor realised he didn’t much care. After all, Jack and Ianto were just as a big a secret as they were.

Rodney McKay/Ianto Jones - coffee

Rodney was rather ashamed. He was. He really, really was. The few days he had back on Earth and he wasn’t spending them with his sister, or with Radek’s family in the Czech Republic. No. Rodney was in his hotel room. On his bed. On his back. Butt naked. But that was where the storytelling part ended. Because Rodney was alone. Alone and aroused and hard, thighs twitching and eyes closed as one hand clenched in his bed sheets while the other ghosted down across his nipples.

The picture behind his eyes as hands floated down his quivering stomach and back up to twist nipples between thumb and forefinger was not of a lover, a movie star or even the famed Samantha Carter. He didn’t even know the full name of the face behind the eyes. Just the first name. And that only coz the coffee shop seemed to know him by sight. Ianto…

Rodney shuddered hard, hearing low, drawn out vowels in his ears as his hand curled around his cock, stroking slowly. Slow didn’t last long as he whimpered in the back of his throat, deep blue eyes and dirty blonde hair appearing behind his closed eyes. The shuddering grew worse and his hand moved faster, drawing moans with every stroke as plump, pink lips completed the picture.

Rodney’s back arched and he came with a harsh cry as the pink lips behind his scrunched eyelids parted, allowing a soft pink tongue to dart out and lick at the corner of the practically edible mouth. Still moving his hand sluggishly on his cock, Rodney flushed, turning his face redder than orgasm had any right to. Because Rodney was ashamed. He was naked, covered in come and he’d just jerked off to the image of a man he’d seen only once in a coffee shop in Cardiff.

Don Eppes/Connor Temple: talk dirty (Numb3rs)

Connor isn’t sure when this strange obsession with tactical equipment and guns began and he’s sure he should be more worried about it then he is.

He can’t quite bring himself to care though, especially when Don comes straight over after doing something life threatening that Connor doesn’t want to think too much on. He loves those times because adrenaline does such wonderful things to Don and he usually completely forgets to remove his tac gear.

Don is pressing him up against the kitchen counter, the bulges of his vest pressing into Connor’s chest in a myriad of interesting ways and the clips of the thigh holsters scraping against his pants. Connor’s willing to do just about anything to be fucked right now.

Connor’s whimpering against Don’s throat and thrusting helplessly against his thigh when Don hisses into his ear.

“Tell me what you want Conn, I’m going to do exactly what you ask me to.”

Connor almost collapses right there, red flush flares from his temples to his neck and his mouth goes instantly dry. He stammers for a few moments before his brain catches up.

“Uh I want you to fuck me.”

Don is smiling against his throat and he gropes Connor before answering.

“I know that, but how do you want me to do it Conn, hard, soft, fast, slow, tie you up and fuck you till you’re begging to cum?”

Connor’s shaking and he’s so hard he can barely think straight.

“I want…” He swallows hard. “I want you to fuck me against the counter,” Don squeezes Connor through his shorts and Connor pants. “God, I…I want you to do it hard…please Don…” Connor is barely coherent, clutching at Don’s vest and Don’s smile is slightly feral as he pushes Connor until his belly is pressing against the counter.

“All you had to do was ask.”

Stephen Hart/Spencer Reid - cheek

It was the simple things from Stephen that got Spencer’s blood racing. Well… strictly speaking, that wasn’t true. Everything about Stephen got Spencer’s blood racing. But the little things, a hand finger-combing through his hair as he passed by, a gentle bump with his hip, a soft press of lips to his cheek… These were the things that Spencer couldn’t get enough of, which made him turn, eyes dark, and press Stephen against a wall or into the back of the couch.

It had been a kiss on the cheek the first time. That was the day that Spencer had known it was real, not just a fling. Stephen had walked past him in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a towel, still damp from the shower, and kissed him on the cheek. Spencer had stared at him, dumbfounded, for a few seconds. Then… there was no other word for it… he had pounced.

He had pressed Stephen against the kitchen table, swearing into his mouth and stumbling as the table shifted back a few inches under their combined weight. He growled into Stephen’s mouth then, pulling on his towel until it fell away and he could press him against the kitchen counter.

Stephen had blinked, stunned by Spencer’s sudden take-charge mood, then he had gotten with the program, kissing him back and shivering as Spencer’s growl reverberated through him. He pushed almost frantically at Spencer’s boxers, helping his lover out of them and kicking them away.

Then, still battling his tongue against Spencer’s and ignoring the counter digging into the small of his back, Stephen began to arch his hips up into Spencer’s. Spencer shuddered, pushing back, answering Stephen’s thrusts with his own. Each groaned into the other’s mouth as their cocks lined up perfectly and rubbed just so.

Stephen wrapped his arms around Spencer’s waist, thrusts getting faster as he dug blunt nails into the curve of Spencer’s ass cheeks. Spencer’s back arched and he dropped his head down onto Stephen’s shoulder, thrusting raggedly as he bit and mouthed at his neck, leaving what he knew would be one hell of a mark, but oh shit, he didn’t care right now.

Stephen came first, head thrown back, biting his lip to stifle the almost-scream, hitting the cupboard that housed the good china with a dull thunk, making the glasses inside rattle. Feeling Stephen stiffen underneath him and the warm wetness splash both their bellies, Spencer bit down on Stephen’s shoulder, muffling the guttural moan that forced itself out of him as his hips bucked.

He rested his head on Stephen’s shoulder as he panted, cheeks colouring rapidly as Stephen asked dazedly from somewhere next to him, “Are you gonna do that every time I give you a kiss on the cheek?”

Radek Zelenka/Danny Messer: Laptop (SGA/CSI:NY)

Danny’s hands shook as he read the e-mail. He’d met Radek a few months ago and they’d had a fling, well aware that Radek worked somewhere that was remote and had very little contact with the outside world.

Danny had every intention of leaving it at a lot of truly excellent sex over a weekend, he’d never really intended to use the e-mail address Radek had given him, and he’d certainly never expected to use it to send such an explicit message.

And now Radek had answered.

Danny pressed the heel of his hand against the bulge in his pants, groaning a little at the pressure.

He could almost feel Radek’s fingers moving as he described them, sliding down his cheeks, along the shells of his ears, mouth following to nip at the earlobes and plant little kisses and bites along the line of his jaw.

Danny flicked open his pants as his breath started coming faster. He gasped as he pushed them down his hips and his hand closed over his cock, imagining it was Radek’s thumb rubbing small circles over the tip.

He imagined he could feel Radek’s spare hand spread across his hipbone as his hand sped up on his cock.

Radek’s hand was a shadow over his own as he moved up to tug at his nipples, just as Radek did it, a little softer then Danny did himself, pinching his fingers lightly around the warm nubs.

The rhythm of his stroking hand was starting to get ragged and his hips were starting to press helplessly up into his hand, searching for just that little bit more of something.

Just as he was nearing the edge Danny could have sworn he heard Radek’s voice.

“Ano Danny, come for me.” It was breathed into his ear, hot and breathless and Danny couldn’t resist.

He came hard, hips jerking erratically up out of the chair. He lay there for a moment before he pushed himself to his feet and went to clean his hands.

Then he sat down and put still shaking hands to the keyboard to reply.

Rodney McKay/Greg Sanders: DNA (SGA/CSI)

Greg had never imagined he’d fuck a suspect, least of all this one who had bitched and threatened and refused flat out to give a DNA sample.

He’d gone for a drink after shift. Sitting down at the bar he wrapped his hand around his drink before a familiar voice invaded his quiet from his left.

“You know, when you’re following someone you’re not supposed to let them see you.”

Greg looked up startled into a pair of slightly suspicious yet terribly blue eyes. He sighed and threw back some of his drink.

“Dr McKay.”

McKay stared at him for a long moment, as if looking for something, he must have found it because he answered with a strange yet utterly alluring smile.

“You can call me Rodney.”

YAY for sex pollen!!!!!!!

I need to nip out for an hour, and will then be back, drooling over all the others and adding more!!!

Ryan/Archie Johnson – rimming (CSI)

The first time Ryan rimmed Archie was the second time they’d had sex, the first time being hard and fast and in a place not conductive for any real foreplay, or nudity for that matter.

He’d pressed Archie into the mattress and licked a strip down his arse crack and Archie had squealed and tried to pull away. Ryan had just held him in place and done it again, this time extending his tongue to press against the pucker.

Ryan had started swirling his tongue and Archie moaned despite himself, pressing his face into the mattress.

He came like that, moaning into the mattress, Ryan holding his arse cheeks open so he could stab his tongue deep into him.

It took a few more times before Archie worked up the courage to do it himself, it tasted odd and his tongue got sore but it was totally worth it for the way Ryan groaned and bucked underneath him, hard enough that Archie could barely hold him down.

Ryan takes stock of his situation.

He's missing his weapons, equipment, radio and most of his clothes and he seems to be in some sort of underground lair.

Did people actually have underground lairs?

Outside of action movies and The Phantom Of The Opera?

Also, he's apparently been captured by a puppet.

An actual puppet, made of wood, and controlled by...what appear to be strings. They disappear into the ceiling like some sort of bad nightmare puppet theatre.

He even has puppet stubble! Who the hell gives a puppet stubble, that's just wrong!

"Captain Ryan I presume."

Oh my god, the puppet apparently also talks!

"I am Captain Black and I will have you in my terrible bondage!"

The man-puppet-thing? Flails in a way that's very, very disturbing.

Ryan gets smacked in the face with a little wooden hand, which really fucking hurts.

"Ow! For the love of-"

He tries to slide out of...flailing distance but only gets so far before he's pulled up short by his own arm

Which has gotten tangled up in Captain Black's strings, suggesting the mad flailing had been some sort of ruse.

Can puppets have ruses?

Why couldn't Ryan have had a nice dinosaur try and eat him instead. He knew where he stood with dinosaurs!

He kicks out with a boot, which smacks into Captain Black's little wooden chest and doesn't move him an inch. Which is screwed up because he's tiny!

"I'm indestructable!"

"You're made of wood," Ryan points out and gives another jerk on the strings, making Captain Black jiggle about. "Really hard wood."

One of Captain Black's little arms flies up.

The string's like fishing line, Ryan's going to end up with no circulation in his wrist if he keeps it up.

"Look it wouldn't work, you're a puppet and I'm-." he stops.

There's a little wooden hand caressing his thigh.

Ryan has never been quite this disturbed in his entire life.

"Ok that's just wrong," Ryan shifts his thigh out of reach.

"You are entirely in my power now Captain Ryan!"

Captain Black tries to drag his leg back, but his little puppet hands don't appear to bend.

"Entirely mine, to do with as I wish."

He's still failing to get a grip on anything so he settles for flailing his way closer and everything is suddenly disturbingly wooden.

Ryan's about to be molested by a puppet and he's never going to live it down!

Yay! Sex pollen orgy!

Oh, this fits so nicely with second season Prmeval and 4th season Numb3rs!

Nick/Daniel Jackson – skeleton (SG1)

Can anyone guess what

brefoot_stars and I have been doing this afternoon?

They’d met while fighting over a skeleton, an Egyptian burial temple just happened to use a block of sandstone which contained a remarkably intact fossil.

Nick was all for removing it so he could study the fossil, the man who was controlling the dig on the temple thought different.

The grad students and other helpers watched the fight for about half an hour and Nick was suspiciously sure they were taking bets. They got bored though and piled into the jeeps and promised to bring back lunch leaving Nick and the Egyptologist, who identified himself while flailing an accusing hand in Nick’s direction as Daniel Jackson, to fight it out.

Daniel’s hair was sun bleached blonde in places and sticking up randomly as he ran a frustrated hand through it, it also flicked into his eyes every time he moved his head to fiercely.

He was sweating in the Egyptian sun and growled as he dug out a bandanna to pull his hair out of his face. He was also tanned and muscled in the slightly wiry way people who work outdoors often are.

Nick wanted to jump him.

Nick caught the next flailing arm in his hand and waited for Daniel’s reaction. He might get decked or kissed, either one would help get rid of some of his frustration.

Daniel took the less violent route, not by much though.

He grabbed Nick by the shoulders, pulling him in for a kiss that was more like a punch with a mouth. Nick tasted blood as Daniel pried open his lips and ran his tongue along his teeth. Nick groaned and grabbed Daniel’s arse, pulling him in close as he kneaded it.

Nick backed Daniel up until his back was pressed up against the temple wall. He lined their cocks up and thrust forward.

Daniel groaned into his mouth, hips moving forward to meet his, fingers coming down to dig into Nick’s waist.

When Nick came he bit down on Daniel’s shoulder hard enough to bruise and then grinned smugly when Daniel jerked into him and wet warmth spread onto his stomach.

Best way to end an argument.

ROTFLAO!!!!

Yes, exactly!

*evil cackle*

*cries with laughter*

*belatedly thinks to check that no one else is around*

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