fredbassett

I like the way you're weaving the different plot strands with the different characters together in this story. It's great that you're bringing people together but without giving too much away at the same time.

Also liking the hints about the wider world of the story, giving the reader little details to build up a bigger picture e.g. the Guild, the Veil, and things like the detector spells around the hospital. The background of the Philippa character is also part of this - we're finding out things about her slowly but surely.

Just one little thing, though - more of a typo than anything else. When the story moves to the hospital (at the beginning of this paragraph: The hospital staff offered no comment on the advisability of Philippa’s request to be taken to the mortuary to see her husband.), it wasn't immediately apparent to me that we had actually shifted locations. I thought Philippa was talking to the nurse on the phone. Maybe you just need some formatting or punctuation to make the shift more obvious.

Other than that I'm just looking forward to the next chapter!