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fredbassettTitle : False Friends
Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Rating : 15
Characters : OCs (Helen Cutter, Stephen Hart)
Disclaimer : Not mine, no money made, don’t sue.
Spoilers : None
Summary : Some people definitely believe that rules don’t apply to them.
A/N : 1) Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
primeval_denial monthly challenge for April for the prompt: "She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you." — Terry Pratchett (Equal Rites (Discworld, #3)) 2) Thanks to Luka for bouncing ideas on this one.
Brian Fairbanks, Faculty Dean, twisted uncomfortably in his chair. “It can’t carry on.”
“What can’t?” The Head of HR had a face that looked like it had been carved from granite with a jackhammer.
“Dr Cutter’s extra-marital antics.”
“Which one?”
“Which Dr Cutter or which antics?” Fairbanks snapped.
“You know perfectly well what I mean.”
“I don’t, actually.” Fairbanks leaned back in his chair and stared at his adversary over the geological layers of paperwork that would need a team of trained archaeologists working for a week to even locate his in-tray. He had neither the time nor the inclination for this sort of shit, but unfortunately it rather went with the territory. He drew in a deep breath and started again. “Helen Cutter is having an affair with one of her students.”
“What proof do you have?”
“None that would stand up in a court of law but, much to my surprise, the Vice-Chancellor has some scruples about putting spy-cameras in lecturers’ bedrooms.” Or their offices, or the toilets of the local pub, or the back of the departmental Land Rovers, even though Fairbanks was damned certain that Helen Cutter had shagged the unfeasibly pretty Stephen Hart in every one of those places.
“That’s probably the only scruple he does have,” Serena Smith muttered, letting her Ice Maiden act slip for a moment.
Fairbanks certainly wasn’t going to dispute that. “So what are you going to do about the wretched woman, Serena? This isn’t the first time Helen has shagged one of her students and I very much doubt it’ll be the last. Can’t you talk to her before she drops us all in the shit and we end up with a student making a complaint?”
“There’s no proof, Brian, and Hart hasn’t complained.”
“So you do know what I’m talking about!”
His adversary sighed. “All right, I’ve heard rumours.”
“There were rumours at her last place as well.”
“She had excellent references.”
“Well, they’d hardly have said she has the morals of a feral ferret, would they? You gave David Tonks an excellent reference and we all know he couldn’t find his arse with both hands and the benefit of a sat nav.”
“He’s the world’s leading expert on the Dead Sea Scrolls.”
“He also farts like an old pig, doesn’t even attend his own seminars and hates students.”
The pair of them paused for a moment of quiet solidarity.
“So he wasn’t all bad, then,” Serena Smith commented.
“His wife was very nice,” Fairbanks conceded. “And he’s right about students. But Cardiff are still welcome to him.” He leaned forward, schooling his face into polite enquiry. “So what are you going to do about Helen Cutter?”
“I’ll talk to her,” Serena Smith conceded.
“And phone your opposite number in Edinburgh. Get the truth about why the wretched woman left.”
“Maybe.” She stood up and flicked an imaginary speck of fluff off her immaculate black, pencil skirt. “I’m sure you’re worrying about nothing, Brian.”
“So you say, but make some enquiries, Serena. We can’t have her shagging the students and you know it.”
Serena Smith sashayed out of his office on her killer heels without bothering to reply.
Four hours later, Brian Fairbanks gave up the unequal struggle with his paperwork and decided to go home. If he was lucky, the crap on his desk would mutate in the night and make a break for freedom. But knowing his luck, it would probably just stay there and breed instead.
His route home took him past Serena Smith’s expensive ground floor flat in one of the town’s up and coming areas. The light was on and he could see her standing in the window, a glass in her hand. As he drove past, mentally cursing the 20mph speed limits that been inflicted on every residential area of the city, he saw a tall, dark-haired woman step up behind the CMU’s Head of PR and slip her arms around the other woman’s waist.
Brian let rip with a curse that would have earned him his wife’s ire if she’d heard him.
He was obviously going to need to engage a new ally when it came to dealing with Helen Cutter’s extra-marital affairs.
Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Rating : 15
Characters : OCs (Helen Cutter, Stephen Hart)
Disclaimer : Not mine, no money made, don’t sue.
Spoilers : None
Summary : Some people definitely believe that rules don’t apply to them.
A/N : 1) Written for the
primeval_denial monthly challenge for April for the prompt: "She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you." — Terry Pratchett (Equal Rites (Discworld, #3)) 2) Thanks to Luka for bouncing ideas on this one.Brian Fairbanks, Faculty Dean, twisted uncomfortably in his chair. “It can’t carry on.”
“What can’t?” The Head of HR had a face that looked like it had been carved from granite with a jackhammer.
“Dr Cutter’s extra-marital antics.”
“Which one?”
“Which Dr Cutter or which antics?” Fairbanks snapped.
“You know perfectly well what I mean.”
“I don’t, actually.” Fairbanks leaned back in his chair and stared at his adversary over the geological layers of paperwork that would need a team of trained archaeologists working for a week to even locate his in-tray. He had neither the time nor the inclination for this sort of shit, but unfortunately it rather went with the territory. He drew in a deep breath and started again. “Helen Cutter is having an affair with one of her students.”
“What proof do you have?”
“None that would stand up in a court of law but, much to my surprise, the Vice-Chancellor has some scruples about putting spy-cameras in lecturers’ bedrooms.” Or their offices, or the toilets of the local pub, or the back of the departmental Land Rovers, even though Fairbanks was damned certain that Helen Cutter had shagged the unfeasibly pretty Stephen Hart in every one of those places.
“That’s probably the only scruple he does have,” Serena Smith muttered, letting her Ice Maiden act slip for a moment.
Fairbanks certainly wasn’t going to dispute that. “So what are you going to do about the wretched woman, Serena? This isn’t the first time Helen has shagged one of her students and I very much doubt it’ll be the last. Can’t you talk to her before she drops us all in the shit and we end up with a student making a complaint?”
“There’s no proof, Brian, and Hart hasn’t complained.”
“So you do know what I’m talking about!”
His adversary sighed. “All right, I’ve heard rumours.”
“There were rumours at her last place as well.”
“She had excellent references.”
“Well, they’d hardly have said she has the morals of a feral ferret, would they? You gave David Tonks an excellent reference and we all know he couldn’t find his arse with both hands and the benefit of a sat nav.”
“He’s the world’s leading expert on the Dead Sea Scrolls.”
“He also farts like an old pig, doesn’t even attend his own seminars and hates students.”
The pair of them paused for a moment of quiet solidarity.
“So he wasn’t all bad, then,” Serena Smith commented.
“His wife was very nice,” Fairbanks conceded. “And he’s right about students. But Cardiff are still welcome to him.” He leaned forward, schooling his face into polite enquiry. “So what are you going to do about Helen Cutter?”
“I’ll talk to her,” Serena Smith conceded.
“And phone your opposite number in Edinburgh. Get the truth about why the wretched woman left.”
“Maybe.” She stood up and flicked an imaginary speck of fluff off her immaculate black, pencil skirt. “I’m sure you’re worrying about nothing, Brian.”
“So you say, but make some enquiries, Serena. We can’t have her shagging the students and you know it.”
Serena Smith sashayed out of his office on her killer heels without bothering to reply.
Four hours later, Brian Fairbanks gave up the unequal struggle with his paperwork and decided to go home. If he was lucky, the crap on his desk would mutate in the night and make a break for freedom. But knowing his luck, it would probably just stay there and breed instead.
His route home took him past Serena Smith’s expensive ground floor flat in one of the town’s up and coming areas. The light was on and he could see her standing in the window, a glass in her hand. As he drove past, mentally cursing the 20mph speed limits that been inflicted on every residential area of the city, he saw a tall, dark-haired woman step up behind the CMU’s Head of PR and slip her arms around the other woman’s waist.
Brian let rip with a curse that would have earned him his wife’s ire if she’d heard him.
He was obviously going to need to engage a new ally when it came to dealing with Helen Cutter’s extra-marital affairs.
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no subject
Date: 2016-04-29 07:54 pm (UTC)Loved loved loved it!
Adding: and the feral ferret line was sublime.
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Date: 2016-04-30 06:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-30 06:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-29 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-30 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-29 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-30 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-29 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-30 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-30 08:49 am (UTC)Great fic - and of course Stephen would not have been the first.
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Date: 2016-04-30 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-01 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-01 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-02 06:48 am (UTC)Poor chap.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-02 08:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-02 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-02 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-03 09:09 pm (UTC)*sporfles loudly*
But ugh for Helen's tentacles reaching everywhere *growls*
Great twist and great fic!
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Date: 2016-05-03 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 07:09 pm (UTC)And, I suppose, "well played Helen!"
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Date: 2016-05-20 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-28 04:17 pm (UTC)Still giggle over the "feral ferret" line.
And the twist surprised me again!
no subject
Date: 2017-07-28 05:22 pm (UTC)