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fredbassettTitle : You Can Buy Anything in Harrods
Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Rating : 12
Characters : Danny/Lester, Connor
Disclaimer : Not mine, no money made, don’t sue.
Spoilers : None
Summary : There are some days…
A/N : Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
telperion_15’s birthday. I hope you have a lovely day! Your prompt was Pandemonium.
An unexpected snowfall had caused chaos on the roads. The traffic was moving at a crawl and Lester was relieved to arrive at the ARC with his Mercedes in one piece. But nothing on earth would have persuaded him to ride pillion on Danny’s motorbike in those weather conditions. Correction, nothing on earth would have persuaded him to ride pillion on Danny’s motorbike. Full stop.
He was pleasantly surprised to see that someone had had the sense to put cones in front of the ramp up to the indoor garage to prevent any skids. It made a nice change to see common sense being exercised for once. He parked in front of the building and prepared to pick his way through the snow to the main door on the ground floor.
A sudden yell split the silence and make Lester’s heart race. Yells in an institution that dealt with dinosaurs and rips in time generally didn’t bode well. He turned towards the direction of the noise and saw Danny Quinn, sitting on something that looked suspiciously like a tea tray, his knees up around his ears as he skidded down the last part of the ramp, slalomed through the cones and ended up falling off sideways into a large snowman.
A moment later, Connor came down in similar fashion, but ended up sending one of the cones flying.
“Loser!” Danny yelled with all the enthusiasm and lack of self-restraint of an eight-year-old child. He saw Lester and his grin widened.
“Absolutely not,” Lester said, answering the unspoken question. “This suit cost more than your month’s wages.”
“You’re no fun. And it’s obviously high time I had a pay rise!” Danny jumped to his feet and waved the tray at Connor. “This is the Ferrari of the tea-tray world, mate! Shame you had to pick the Skoda!”
Lester rolled his eyes at the pair of them and made his way to the door, keeping a wary eye out for snowballs.
* * * * *
“There’s health and safety inspection today at 10.30pm, Sir James,” Lorraine said, setting his coffee mug down on the desk. The mug was emblazoned with the words: Keep Calm and Don’t Fire Anyone. Lorraine had obviously deemed it appropriate for the day ahead.
“How splendid. I trust we have taken all necessary precautions? No doors propped open with fire extinguishers? You know what Mr Dawkins things of that. All of Miss Maitland’s pets safely out of sight in the menagerie? Cutter locked in the stationary cupboard?”
“All relevant doors are closed,” Lorraine assured him.
“But for how long?” Lester said heavily. He glanced out of the window, already hoping for more snow. “Perhaps we could send all the staff home. Adverse weather conditions. Black ice. Freezing fog.” He waved a hand airily, wishing he had a magic wand for this sort of occasion. “By the way, please send Mr Quinn a memo on the subject of misuse of office equipment. I’m sure that tea tray was not manufactured for use as a toboggan.”
“Yes, Sir James.”
Lester knew that tone of voice. It was the one that she used on him when he threatened to send a memo on the subject of the soldiers’ tea breaks.
The ever-present mound of paperwork on his desk seemed to have indulged in some unrestrained breeding overnight. A policy of strict neutering was going to be needed. He could start by weeding out and refusing all requests for extra leave over Christmas. That would get him in the mood for the rest of the day…
They’d gone, all of them. In response to the rustle of papers, Lorraine glanced over her shoulder and smiled sweetly. “I’ve dealt with the holiday rota,” she told him. “I think you’ll find it’s to everyone’s satisfaction.”
Lorraine Wickes had worked for him for far too long to be impressed by any of his scowls and before he could think of anything more inventive to express his views on her largesse to the staff, a whoop of delight from the atrium interrupted his train of thought. Lester winced. That sort of noise from Danny never boded well for his blood pressure. An answering yodel from Connor made it perfectly clear that the pair of them had tired of their improvised bobsleigh and had decided to bring their games indoors.
Lester was actually pleasantly surprised to discover that all they were doing was skateboarding around the control room. By their standards that was positively mundane. It was simply unfortunate that Danny chose the exact moment of the heath and safety inspector’s early arrival to attempt – without success – to perform a handstand on his board. The resulting crash was spectacular in the extreme; ending with Danny sprawled at Mr Dawkins’ feet, staring up at him with an owlish grin.
Lester leaned on the handrail and called down to his errant lover, “Mr Quinn, that was neither healthy nor safe. Kindly have an accident form on my desk within the hour.”
At least an inspection of the Accident Book would demonstrate that the ARC took health and safety seriously.
It was just unfortunate that the majority of the entries involved Danny in one form or another.
But on the bright side, at least they’d come up clean with regard to fire-extinguishers and doors.
At exactly that moment, Lester noticed the enormous, red cylindrical objects placed on either side of the doors to the internal garage.
As he walked down the ramp to greet the inspector, Lester was left wondering from where on God’s green earth Danny Quinn had managed to obtain a pair of two metre high, inflatable fire-extinguishers.
He just hoped that Dawkins was prepared to award some points for ingenuity. If not, Lester foresaw an awful lot more paperwork in his immediate future.
Next time they had an inspection like this booked, he was going to take the precaution of giving the whole bloody lot of them the day off.
Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Rating : 12
Characters : Danny/Lester, Connor
Disclaimer : Not mine, no money made, don’t sue.
Spoilers : None
Summary : There are some days…
A/N : Written for
telperion_15’s birthday. I hope you have a lovely day! Your prompt was Pandemonium.An unexpected snowfall had caused chaos on the roads. The traffic was moving at a crawl and Lester was relieved to arrive at the ARC with his Mercedes in one piece. But nothing on earth would have persuaded him to ride pillion on Danny’s motorbike in those weather conditions. Correction, nothing on earth would have persuaded him to ride pillion on Danny’s motorbike. Full stop.
He was pleasantly surprised to see that someone had had the sense to put cones in front of the ramp up to the indoor garage to prevent any skids. It made a nice change to see common sense being exercised for once. He parked in front of the building and prepared to pick his way through the snow to the main door on the ground floor.
A sudden yell split the silence and make Lester’s heart race. Yells in an institution that dealt with dinosaurs and rips in time generally didn’t bode well. He turned towards the direction of the noise and saw Danny Quinn, sitting on something that looked suspiciously like a tea tray, his knees up around his ears as he skidded down the last part of the ramp, slalomed through the cones and ended up falling off sideways into a large snowman.
A moment later, Connor came down in similar fashion, but ended up sending one of the cones flying.
“Loser!” Danny yelled with all the enthusiasm and lack of self-restraint of an eight-year-old child. He saw Lester and his grin widened.
“Absolutely not,” Lester said, answering the unspoken question. “This suit cost more than your month’s wages.”
“You’re no fun. And it’s obviously high time I had a pay rise!” Danny jumped to his feet and waved the tray at Connor. “This is the Ferrari of the tea-tray world, mate! Shame you had to pick the Skoda!”
Lester rolled his eyes at the pair of them and made his way to the door, keeping a wary eye out for snowballs.
* * * * *
“There’s health and safety inspection today at 10.30pm, Sir James,” Lorraine said, setting his coffee mug down on the desk. The mug was emblazoned with the words: Keep Calm and Don’t Fire Anyone. Lorraine had obviously deemed it appropriate for the day ahead.
“How splendid. I trust we have taken all necessary precautions? No doors propped open with fire extinguishers? You know what Mr Dawkins things of that. All of Miss Maitland’s pets safely out of sight in the menagerie? Cutter locked in the stationary cupboard?”
“All relevant doors are closed,” Lorraine assured him.
“But for how long?” Lester said heavily. He glanced out of the window, already hoping for more snow. “Perhaps we could send all the staff home. Adverse weather conditions. Black ice. Freezing fog.” He waved a hand airily, wishing he had a magic wand for this sort of occasion. “By the way, please send Mr Quinn a memo on the subject of misuse of office equipment. I’m sure that tea tray was not manufactured for use as a toboggan.”
“Yes, Sir James.”
Lester knew that tone of voice. It was the one that she used on him when he threatened to send a memo on the subject of the soldiers’ tea breaks.
The ever-present mound of paperwork on his desk seemed to have indulged in some unrestrained breeding overnight. A policy of strict neutering was going to be needed. He could start by weeding out and refusing all requests for extra leave over Christmas. That would get him in the mood for the rest of the day…
They’d gone, all of them. In response to the rustle of papers, Lorraine glanced over her shoulder and smiled sweetly. “I’ve dealt with the holiday rota,” she told him. “I think you’ll find it’s to everyone’s satisfaction.”
Lorraine Wickes had worked for him for far too long to be impressed by any of his scowls and before he could think of anything more inventive to express his views on her largesse to the staff, a whoop of delight from the atrium interrupted his train of thought. Lester winced. That sort of noise from Danny never boded well for his blood pressure. An answering yodel from Connor made it perfectly clear that the pair of them had tired of their improvised bobsleigh and had decided to bring their games indoors.
Lester was actually pleasantly surprised to discover that all they were doing was skateboarding around the control room. By their standards that was positively mundane. It was simply unfortunate that Danny chose the exact moment of the heath and safety inspector’s early arrival to attempt – without success – to perform a handstand on his board. The resulting crash was spectacular in the extreme; ending with Danny sprawled at Mr Dawkins’ feet, staring up at him with an owlish grin.
Lester leaned on the handrail and called down to his errant lover, “Mr Quinn, that was neither healthy nor safe. Kindly have an accident form on my desk within the hour.”
At least an inspection of the Accident Book would demonstrate that the ARC took health and safety seriously.
It was just unfortunate that the majority of the entries involved Danny in one form or another.
But on the bright side, at least they’d come up clean with regard to fire-extinguishers and doors.
At exactly that moment, Lester noticed the enormous, red cylindrical objects placed on either side of the doors to the internal garage.
As he walked down the ramp to greet the inspector, Lester was left wondering from where on God’s green earth Danny Quinn had managed to obtain a pair of two metre high, inflatable fire-extinguishers.
He just hoped that Dawkins was prepared to award some points for ingenuity. If not, Lester foresaw an awful lot more paperwork in his immediate future.
Next time they had an inspection like this booked, he was going to take the precaution of giving the whole bloody lot of them the day off.
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no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 03:27 pm (UTC)Lovely xxx
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 03:35 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 04:39 pm (UTC)The mental images of Lester riding pillion, then sitting on a tea tray were classic. And Danny with his long legs squished up to fit - *snorfle*
The coffee cup, the list of past infractions, the paperwork breeding (OH YES), and dear Lorraine and the holiday requests...
Danny ending up at the feet of the inspector, and Lester's quick thinking response...
This was brilliant. *wanders off still snickering*
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 06:26 pm (UTC)I'll have you know, though, that Skoda cars win rallying titles, and have Volkswagen engines under the bonnet!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 06:41 pm (UTC)I can just see Danny and Connor doing the sledging on tin trays, though!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 06:42 pm (UTC)I can just see Danny and Connor doing the sledging on tin trays, though!
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-15 10:01 pm (UTC)Lovely, mischievous, adorable Danny ^_^
"Keep Calm and Don’t Fire Anyone"
Most apprpopriate mug for Lester ever.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 12:42 am (UTC)Poor Lester. 'cept he's getting some hot ass, so not poor Lester at all. XD
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Date: 2012-12-16 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 02:41 am (UTC)Gorgeous fic.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 12:17 pm (UTC)You have to admit that Danny knows how to have fun! Poor Lester - all that paperwork...
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Date: 2012-12-16 01:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-16 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-19 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-18 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-19 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-18 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-19 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-20 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-21 09:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-24 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-24 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-06 05:09 am (UTC)Poor Lester, the voice of reason amidst all the chaos.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-06 09:54 am (UTC)