Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Characters : Lester, Ryan
Rating : 15 (later parts will increase to 18)
Disclaimer : Not mine, no money made, don’t sue
Spoilers : Very minor for S1, Episode 4.
Warning: Sorry, no smut, but that wil be rectified in later parts, I hope.
Summary : Set after Interrogation Techniques. Ryan finds himself in even more trouble.
A/N : The title comes from T. S. Elliot’s poem The Hollow Men. This series as a whole is set before the end of Season 1. The remainder can be found here
The day began with a rapid and disruptive scramble out of one of Cutter’s lectures.
It continued with an unfortunate lapse of judgment which precipitated Captain Ryan into Helen Cutter’s hands for something approaching an hour.
The repercussions lasted somewhat longer.
* * *
Lester glared at Ryan and slapped a file down on the desk.
“I’ve allowed you to indulge your fantasies for five days now, Captain, and frankly, that’s been five days too long. What part of discreet investigations did you fail to understand?”
The Special Forces captain stared at a point on the wall somewhere behind Sir James Lester’s left ear and didn’t reply.
The civil servant brandished a piece of paper at Ryan.
“Item One: A letter of complaint, from the Honourable Member for Lakeland South addressed to the Armed Services Minister.”
He picked up a second sheet and waved that as well. “Item Two: A Memorandum of Complaint from the Armed Services Minister to the Directorate of Special Forces.”
More papers followed in similar fashion, “Item Three: A note of the telephone call taken by Ms Brown from your Director, and I quote, Tell Lester that if he wants to send the fuckwit back here I’ll try and find him one with more brains.”
However, the irate civil servant didn’t see fit to favour Ryan with the Director’s final words to his assistant. But tell your boss I’m not promising. Those idiots in
“Did it escape your notice that your ex-wife still has a restraining order in force against you, Captain Ryan? Or did it need a letter from her solicitors to remind you? That’s Item Four, by the way.”
Ryan now had the good grace, or good sense, Lester wasn’t quite sure which, to look uncomfortable.
The civil servant sighed heavily. “Sit down, Ryan, and try telling me what happened.”
The soldier sank uneasily into a chair. He actually preferred to stand up when he was getting a bollocking, but refusing would probably only make matters worse.
“Just a stupid bloody coincidence, sir. Her au pair’s boyfriend turns out to be the son of the owner of the B & B where we were staying. She recognised me and told Mandy.” Sorry, Amanda. “She told Greg and he got a friend in the local police to run a PNC check on the car.”
And my ex-wife’s new husband is a merchant banker with a telephone number salary and friends in High Places, so I was screwed the minute I went within a mile of their extremely expensive and fucking isolated mansion. And yes, I had forgotten the exact terms of that sodding restraining order but no, I don’t expect you to believe that so I won’t waste my breath.
“And did you have to compound the problem by assaulting a member of the local constabulary, Captain?”
Ryan looked aggrieved. “He was in plain clothes, sir. And he jumped me.”
“Well, that makes it all right then, doesn’t it? I suppose I should just be thankful that you didn’t add a firearms offence to your impressive list of misdemeanours.”
Ryan winced. Lester clearly hadn’t read page three of Item Two.
“Sorry, sir,” the soldier said, wisely deciding that sticking to apologies might be safer.
“And what do we have to show for your five day jaunt up to Beatrix Potter’s homeland, Captain Ryan? Apart from numerous letters of complaint, that is.” Lester shuffled the papers again. “Even according to the ever-faithful Dr Hart’s report we actually have precisely nothing to show for your impromptu holiday. Not unless you count one case of sheep molestation by a creature said to be the size and shape of a black Labrador, which anyone but a half-wit or possibly
“What about Helen Cutter’s threat, sir?” said Ryan stubbornly. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
Sir James Lester resisted a strong impulse to sigh again. Even he had to admit that there were only so many times sighing could be used effectively as a technique. And Ryan was irritatingly impervious to even his best long-suffering sighs.
“No, Ryan, it doesn’t count for anything. When set against Mrs Cutter’s track-record for misinformation and misdirection I think you’ll find it actually counts for fuck all. But I don’t suppose that had occurred to you, had it?”
The fact that Lester had started to swear was actually some consolation. Ryan knew perfectly well that the civil servant was at his most dangerous when he maintained his air of supercilious politeness. Lester when he resorted to obscenity was entirely more human.
“Why would she lie, sir?”
“For the same reason she lied about the sabre-toothed cats supposedly poised to cause mayhem in the city. To cause a distraction. To cause trouble. To waste time. How many reasons do you want? On top of which, she doesn’t exactly have much cause to love you, Ryan, or had that escaped your notice as well? You and Hart were up there for a week, Captain,” and don’t think I don’t know that he’s still there, by the way, thought Lester, grimly. “You didn’t manage to uncover anything more sinister than a case of sheep-worrying, which, frankly, for a week in the Great Outdoors counts as frighteningly quiet. So get over it, and get on with your job. Do I make myself clear?”
“She threatened my kid, sir.”
“She made a throwaway comment designed to wind you up. And she succeeded. Quite spectacularly. You’re lucky this didn’t cost you your rank, Ryan.”
Ryan looked dangerously close to not caring.
Lester glared.
Claudia Brown burst into the room without knocking.
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Date: 2008-01-15 10:15 pm (UTC)There are no words to express just how much I love your Lester!
...
See? There are the no words!
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Date: 2008-01-15 10:30 pm (UTC)Sorry about the cliffhanger! I'll post the next part before I go off to France on Friday. Believe it or not, it's written up to Part 5 so far. I've just been a bit hesitant about posting for some daft reason. Indecision, I guess!
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Date: 2008-01-15 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 11:39 pm (UTC)*hides evil grin behind innocent smile*
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Date: 2008-01-16 12:11 am (UTC)But.... cliffhanger! Evil you!
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Date: 2008-01-16 06:59 pm (UTC)And you do you think I picked up the evil cliffhanger habit from, dear?
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Date: 2008-01-16 08:15 am (UTC)*snuggles special forces captain*
I love this, though. I love your take on Lester. And cliffhanger! AAAAAHHH!!
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Date: 2008-01-16 07:01 pm (UTC)Lester's just sooooo much fun to write! (I have an entire Lester/Lyle fic already written which I'm hanging on to for after this series. *teases you with fic*)
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Date: 2008-01-16 09:26 am (UTC)*happy cackle* Your Lester is wonderful! I loved the methodical recounting of Ryan's sins. Lovely!
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Date: 2008-01-16 07:03 pm (UTC)Glad you're liking it :)
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Date: 2008-01-17 08:54 am (UTC)Where exactly did we get him and a submachine gun from? Have people been watching things and not telling me? Why have I not seen Lester with weaponry? *stomps tiny feet*
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Date: 2008-01-17 06:16 pm (UTC)The submachine gun bit comes from one of the interviews from a link posted on Primeval_itv a week or so ago, which took you to some cast interviews on video on ITVs own site. Ben Miller says in one episode he gets to fire about 50 rounds from a submachine gun and thought it was brilliant fun!
I naturally claim they got the idea from my action!Lester as I gave him a gun first! (Or rather Lyle did!)
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Date: 2008-01-17 11:08 pm (UTC)(which somehow prompted this from my muses: "how do you want your eggs?" "is this a trick question?")
Claudia really needs to learn how to knock*...lest she accidentally walk in on her dear Nick with Stephen or some other chap.
* = she's the English equivilent of Tessa Alvarado.
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Date: 2008-01-18 01:49 pm (UTC)Liked the egg comment :)
plot hare! (half bunny, though)
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Date: 2008-01-18 10:55 pm (UTC)Still have fun in France *you lucky devil you* and I await more with baited breath.
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Date: 2008-01-22 06:46 pm (UTC)I've just had the electric connected at the house today and so far the internet connection seems to be working ok, so I should be able to post the next chapter from here!
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Date: 2008-03-11 08:22 pm (UTC)Oh, James. You are so wrong!
Can I just ask, do you have something against the sheep?
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Date: 2008-03-11 08:36 pm (UTC)I need to remember to add the "No sheep were harmed in the making of this fic" disclaimer.
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Date: 2008-05-20 10:10 pm (UTC)Why do all the commentors on this chapter think you are going to hurt Ryan? *is puzzled*
I look forward to the rest of the series :)
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Date: 2008-05-21 01:10 pm (UTC)They're a bunch of pessimists, I think and they're worried I'm going to hurt my darling boy.
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Date: 2009-02-23 10:08 pm (UTC)Ryan winced. Lester clearly hadn’t read page three of Item Two.
Ha!
Lester when he resorted to obscenity was entirely more human.
More Ben Miller like, perhaps? *g*
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