Comment!Porn, The Collector's Edition, Volume 1, Gun!Kink

[fredbassett]

Title: Comment!Porn, The Collector’s Edition, Volume 1, Gun!Kink
Fandom: Primeval (Numb3rs)
Authors: entangled_now, fredbassett, noxnoctisanima
Pairing :  Ryan/Lester, (Ryan/Don)
Rating: 18/NC17
Spoilers: Only to your moral standards
Warning: Wholly inappropriate use of firearms, do not try this at home, or anywhere else for that matter, not child (or adult) safe!! In short, really, really kinky.  Got that?
Disclaimer: We don’t own them, but if we did, the show wouldn’t air before the watershed.

Ryan/Lester
(entangled_now)

Lester rather thinks he's doing marvelous job of not being awake. It's something he doesn't particularly work hard at, which makes a nice change.

Though Ryan isn't exactly making it easy.

He's doing something clandestine further down the bed, something clandestine that involves dragging what feels suspiciously like straps up the bare length of his thighs.

"What are you doing?" Lester asks, and he's not particularly pleased at the fact that he's now no longer quite as asleep as he was before.

There's no answer, just another drag of material that shifts his thigh in a most unnerving way and a quiet but altogether more suspicious click. It's not the sort of click that Lester has experience with but it's vaguely familiar all the same.

Self-preservation if nothing else demand he look.

His legs are very heavy, and apparently now armed.

"Please tell me those aren't loaded?"

"They're not loaded," Ryan says simply, which isn't really a comforting thought.

"And you felt the need to arm me because."

"I was practicing my stealth tactics," Ryan says, in a voice that's entirely too obedient and sensible to be believed. It's a very military sort of bullshit.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"And not in fact using those stealth tactics that cost the taxpayer millions of pounds to entertain yourself?"

Ryan raises an eyebrow, and Lester debates prodding at that interesting expression for a long moment.

"Are they supposed to be this tight?"

"Yes," Ryan says, and his voice is drifting curiously into a range that's all throat and distraction.

Lester lifts a foot and pushes, Ryan bends with the movement, until he comes to a point where he's forced to either fall on his back or push against it.

He falls on his back, which is a particularly attractive position for him.

Lester follows, because how could he not. When he shifts to his knees the straps dig in sharply and it takes a moment to work out how to move, how to shift up the bed far enough that he can knock Ryan's legs closer together and carefully swing a leg over his waist.

And it really is very distracting having extra weight there.

Ryan makes a noise when the straps slide and catch on his waist, a noise that he seems completely unable to keep in his throat.

Oh this could be interesting, this could be very interesting indeed.

Ryan/Don (remembered, in midst of Ryan/Lester)
(noxnoctisanima)

As Ryan covertly straps the thigh holsters to Lester's bare thighs he remembers where this particular kink came from.

Don had utterly mad hair that made him appear as if he had just been shagged and a body that begged to be.

They'd met on a info and training swap with their respective countries, why he'd been saddled with the FBI Ryan would never know, though looking back on it Don certainly made up for it with his wardrobe.

Ryan had almost bollocksed up the first urban warfare op they'd done when Don turned up in cock hugging jeans and thigh holsters high up on each leg. It took all his self restraint not to jump him right there. But he was SAS, one of the best and he had more restraint then that.

He'd waited until the op finished before tackling Don into the wall, pressing his cock up against Don's oh so visible one and almost ordering him to come forward with a hard tug to the ties of his holsters.

Don came.

Ryan/Lester (continued)
(fredbassett)

Give a guy a pair of thigh holsters and look what happens ..........

The unlubricated finger was fine, he could take that without a problem. Quite liked it in fact. Added just that edge of sharpness that he'd grown to like.

The unlubricated cock was pushing Lester's luck just a bit further than Ryan felt like allowing. He started to shift the weight onto one elbow, prior to turning the tables on this situation when Lester's voice crawled into his ear, "Can dish it out, but can't take it, is that your style, Captain?"

The narrow hips drove into him with surprising force.

Ryan's breath left his lungs in one long ragged curse. That fucking hurt, so why the hell was his own cock so bloody hard?

His protest died on his lips as Lester dragged out of him in a movement that hurt almost as much as the entry had done. "Bastard," Ryan muttered, talking into the crook of his own elbow.

Laughter rippled over his shoulders like silk. "Do loosen up, dear boy, or the next bit really will hurt."

"And that didn't?"

And something about the way that Lester seemed to be deliberately stretching him, with two very determined fingers, started to sound warning bells in what was left of the sane recesses of Ryan's mind.

Then something hard, and cold, and unpleasantly metallic started pressing into him, demanding entry ..........

"I do hope for your sake you weren't lying when you said these things were unloaded, Ryan, although I have to say it does feel rather heavy to be lacking a magazine .........."

And suddenly, moving seemed like a really, really bad idea ..........

(noxnoctisanima)

For most people even the idea of having a weapon pressed up against your ass by a person planning to fuck you with it would be enough to have them running for the hills.

Ryan would once have put himself in that group, that was before he met Lester, now he was just trying not to come at the very idea.

(fredbassett)

Ryan tensed. Impossible not to with the barrel of his Glock in obscene proximity to his ass.

And Lester was right, it did hurt, but that didn't stop the other man continuing to shove the unlubricated metal past the tight ring of muscle and on, into his body, and just for a moment Ryan wondered if he really could take this without crying out, then it was in him and moving, and Ryan's world started to break apart in fragments as sharp and shining as one of the anomalies.

He lay there, letting himself be fucked with his own gun, feeling the barrel get closer and closer to the spot that he knew would break his control, then he heard Lester's voice, deceptively casual, asking, "Is there a point to this little catch on the side, Captain Ryan?"

And just as the gun barrel grazed his prostate, Ryan heard the sharp, metallic click of the safety catch being flicked into the off position ....

(noxnoctisanima)

And wasn't that just fucked up, the sound of the safety being flicked off went straight to his cock.

He didn't even need it to touch his prostate, the idea alone of being fucked with a loaded gun without the safety on pushed him over the edge.

The world shattered around him and he twitched as he came against the mattress, feeling his own cum spread underneath him.

 

Comments

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

And when you put them all together it's just...brain melty. And I'd somehow managed to miss the last section (must have got lost in the labyrinth of threads...) - so that was an even brain meltier surprise!

[fredbassett]

Don't worry, we're now sending search parties into the threads for lost readers!! People are going in, and never being seen again ........

If your connnection will cope, take a look towards the end of the threads on the main posts. Emma has just lobbed in a clutch of really hot military cross-overs and I'm just heading off to the shower ..........

[deinonychus-1.livejournal.com]

Guh.... and possibly, meep!

Think that says it all.

[fredbassett]

Oops, cretaceous era dinosaur rendered non-verbal. I'll endeavour to keep the Collector's Editions coming along this week so you can have some more reading material. Emma's just posted various luvverly military crossovers with Ryan, but thread is now at 284 entries and rising, so it will give your dial up a nosebleed, I think! Sorry, hon!!

[dopeydora-67.livejournal.com]

Until this, I had never read gun!kink...very hot. *adds it to my ever growing kink list*

[fredbassett]

It's been a favourite of mine for a very long time!

[fredbassett]

I'll find you the links for a couple I know and reply on your other post, hon!

I seem to have distracted you from Ryan/Stephen with all this lot! *grins*

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Oh wow.

[fredbassett]

Even I almost blushed when I re-read what we'd been up to in this one! Naturally I blame the other two for leading me astray.

[munchkinofdoom.livejournal.com]

OMG this has so many many many things wrong with it... and I'm soooo glad you finally compiled it into one post so that I could read it!

[fredbassett]

Yep!! See above comment to adafrog, this one almost made me blush at my own bad behaviour. *almost*, I hasten to add. It was about as wrong as you can possibly get, and definitely comes with a don't try this at home, kiddies, warning!!!

[neevebrody.livejournal.com]

MY GOD! That was so hot! But this...

"I do hope for your sake you weren't lying when you said these things were unloaded, Ryan, although I have to say it does feel rather heavy to be lacking a magazine .........."

And suddenly, moving seemed like a really, really bad idea ..........

I laughed out loud, and this...

He didn't even need it to touch his prostate, the idea alone of being fucked with a loaded gun without the safety on pushed him over the edge.

The world shattered around him and he twitched as he came against the mattress, feeling his own cum spread underneath him.

GUH, I mean that just did something to my brain!! I have GOT to find out who these character are (except Ryan is yours, right?). I gotta go find more!

[fredbassett]

Lester is a sharp-suited very snarky civil servant, who gets some of the best one-liners in the show. When you look past the deliberately awful suits, the actor, Ben Miller, is bloody good-looking, IMHO, and I adore him. Ryan is the Special Forces soldier in Season 1. No, he's not mine. The one you're thinking of (I think), which is one of my OC's, is Lyle. Also SF.

Glad you liked it! It just got worse and worse with each addition. Girls Behaving Badly, I think!!!

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Bloody hell. Bloody HELL.
BLOODY FUCKIN HELL!!!

*is dead*
*but is still feeling vaguely guilty for finding that so hot*

[fredbassett]

I've been wondering if we'd get told off for inappropriate use of firearms, and considered amending the warning to "ass-fucking with a loaded gun will earn you a starring role in next Year's Darwin Awards", but then I thought, hell no, anyone that daft wouldn't be reading warnings anyway!!

*revives oddegg with smelling salts*

[admiralandrea.livejournal.com]

Okay, totally could *not* read Lester with anyone. Squicks me to hell and back. But the Don/Ryan bit was quite perfect and lovely. Describes Don so well and I love the way Ryan loses his cool over him *eg*

(And even though he's not in there, I had to take this opportunity to use my shiny new sexy!Stephen icon ;-))

[fredbassett]

No, no, no, hon, you must lose the Lester-squick, look past the grotty suits and focus on how gorgeous Ben Miller actually is!! He really pushes my buttons now *happy sigh*, but it took me a while to tune into this.

Your shiny new Stephen icon is so shiny it makes me reach for the sunglasses so I can drool over him. Was it you looking for a new Stephen on his own icon the other day, or someone else? This one is soooooo gorgeous! makes me want to run off and write more Stephen/Ryan porn, or even Stephen/anyone porn!!

[earlybird42.livejournal.com]

>Stephen/anyone porn!!

Oh how appropriate would this be. The pretty little tart just can't resist.

Please continue to stow your embarrassment and be this naughty. Must have more...

[fredbassett]

LOL, this really was a Porn in the Gutter thread! But it was surprising how many people discovered a serious gun!kink round about then!

[earlybird42.livejournal.com]

Hehe, ANY kink is good IMO. I look forward to descending to previously unknown depths of the gutter, suitably decorated with ample filth.

[fredbassett]

Welcome to the gutter, hon!! We've now got an ongoing Gutter Bar set up in Denial Land as well. Such fun.

[earlybird42.livejournal.com]

Cool. I shall have a look for it and anticipate plumbing its depths of depravity in the near future.

[fififolle]

I couldn't resist the tag gun!kink LOL. Although *scrubs eyes* maybe I should have LOL. It was so darned hawt :D And he *lied* about it being loaded, *tut tut*. I survived on Nox fic at www.primeval.co.uk until I found you lot :P ROFL!

[fredbassett]

LOL, this was an example of Girls Behaving Badly at our very worst.

I don't think I know that site. Is it an LJ one or elsewhere?

[thefakebook.livejournal.com]

Meep! LOL... this is what I get for tag-trolling for fic! Whoo-hoo!

[fredbassett]

LOL, now you know what a sick bunch we are!

[joereaves.livejournal.com]

OMFG...I misses this the first time round. *flails* I think you killed me.

[fredbassett]

LOL, there are quite a few of these you might have missed, all from the same period. I think I'll use them for the recs for the next few weeks.

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that gun!kink is completely lethal. And I mean that in the fangirl-dissolving-into-puddle-of-lust way.

[fredbassett]

We were very bad fangirls. *grins*

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Def. not for the faint heart (g).. melts at Lester/Ryan and their antics.. guh!

[fredbassett]

*grins* Oh noes, definitely not one for the kiddies. We do love our gun kink in this fandom.