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fredbassettTitle : Interview Without Coffee
Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Rating : 12
Characters : Becker, The Colonel, Kay
Disclaimer : Not mine (Kay and the Colonel belong to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fififolle, no money made, don’t sue.
Spoilers : None
Summary :
A/N : 1) This series of interlinked drabbles has been written fornietie’s birthday! I hope you have a lovely day! 2) Follows Puptastrophe. 3) An interview without coffee is a military term for getting a major bollocking from a superior and no, I’m not making it up about army punctuation.
The small brown puppy rasped a harsh, dry cough and stared up at her out of anxious dark eyes.
“Hot milk with honey for you, young lady,” the Colonel said softly.
She turned away but was drawn back by a plaintive whimper.
The Colonel sighed. “You don’t want to be left alone?”
Kay’s tail wagged feebly.
The Colonel rummaged in the chest of drawers until she found an old pup sling.
With Kay tucked up against her chest, she warmed some milk and honey.
When Becker returned home, he found his formidable mother with Kay sound asleep on her lap.
****
“Your kitchen was, quite frankly, a mess, Hilary. I have brought some order into the chaos.”
Becker swallowed heavily, hoping he hadn’t just broken out into a noticeable sweat. “Thank you, mother. You didn’t need…”
“And get that psychopath Richards to sharpen your knives. They’re all a complete disgrace. Kay has had some chicken breast for lunch; frankly, I had to practically dissect it with my fingernails, which was hardly satisfactory.”
This time the swallow was more of a gulp. “Yes, m…”
“Stop yes mothering me. I have cleaned your fridge. A culture more ancient than China was lurking there.”
****
Becker gave in to the inevitable and adopted a position of parade rest, hands clasped behind his back.
This was definitely turning into an interview without coffee.
So far, the Colonel had been appalled by the kitchen, distinctly unimpressed by their laundry system and viewed the state of their airing cupboard as a personal offence.
He hadn’t realised his mother held such strong opinions on towels and their proper placement. That diatribe had lasted for a full four and a half minutes during which she hadn’t repeated herself once.
Kay, the furry little traitor, just sleepily licked her grandmother’s chin.
****
“What did you learn at Sandhurst, Hilary?” the Colonel demanded after the full half hour rant.
“How to clean my boots and double space after full stops in reports, mother.”
Something that might have been an almost homeopathic smile sidled towards his mother’s face before being quickly banished. “And what did the Regiment teach you?”
“How to kill people more effectively, and that no one in Sterling Lines gives a rat’s arse for double spaces after full stops.”
This time the faint smile reached one corner of her lips, before making a terrified dash for a galaxy far, far away.
****
“And what has fatherhood taught you?”
“That most of the time I’m too fucking tired to worry about the state of my laundry cupboard as long as the pups are fed and happy.”
“And how do you balance that with the responsibilities of your career?”
“I still keep my weapons spotlessly clean…”
He ignored the mutter of “That’s more than can be said for your kitchen floor.”
“My men respect me, Lester values me, and occasionally I get to kill monsters. But I wish someone would tell him that even the army has changed their minds about fucking double spacing.”
****
“I shall send him a memo,” the Colonel said, finally allowing the corner of her lips to twitch into something that might, just might, have been a smile.
Becker found that even more terrifying than the ranting.
Kay, demonstrating no sympathy whatsoever for her father’s plight, snuggled up in the pup sling and started snoring softly.
“I hope she’s been no trouble, mother?” Becker ventured.
“She is far more stoic with nursery cough than you ever were, Hilary. She is next due some warm milk and honey in half an hour. She prefers it from her special spoon.”
Kay whiffled.
****
“Thank you, mother”
“I have made a note of your rota. I shall return at 8am tomorrow. If you are both called out overnight, you are to phone me immediately.”
“Thank y…”
“Enough, Hilary.” The colonel unwound the pup sling and passed the sleeping Kay to Becker.
With his daughter in his arms, Becker felt the stress of the day and the past 45 minutes with his alpha parent start to slip away.
With a brisk nod, the Colonel stalked out, back ramrod straight.
Kay blinked sleepily and gave a slight cough.
Becker promptly started to prepare her next drink.
****
Becker never saw the quirk on his mother’s lips as she strolled down the path and telephoned her husband. “Of course I terrified the little sod, Allan,” she said smugly. “You know he expects it of me.”
The Colonel had to admit to herself that her son’s thirdborn was an engaging child.
She approved of the sharp intelligence in the dark eyes and the brown-furred pup’s strength of character.
And her own offspring appeared to be coping as well as could be expected.
However, she would most certainly send James Lester a memo on the correct punctuation of military reports.
Author : fredbassett
Fandom : Primeval
Rating : 12
Characters : Becker, The Colonel, Kay
Disclaimer : Not mine (Kay and the Colonel belong to
fififolle, no money made, don’t sue.Spoilers : None
Summary :
A/N : 1) This series of interlinked drabbles has been written for
nietie’s birthday! I hope you have a lovely day! 2) Follows Puptastrophe. 3) An interview without coffee is a military term for getting a major bollocking from a superior and no, I’m not making it up about army punctuation.The small brown puppy rasped a harsh, dry cough and stared up at her out of anxious dark eyes.
“Hot milk with honey for you, young lady,” the Colonel said softly.
She turned away but was drawn back by a plaintive whimper.
The Colonel sighed. “You don’t want to be left alone?”
Kay’s tail wagged feebly.
The Colonel rummaged in the chest of drawers until she found an old pup sling.
With Kay tucked up against her chest, she warmed some milk and honey.
When Becker returned home, he found his formidable mother with Kay sound asleep on her lap.
****
“Your kitchen was, quite frankly, a mess, Hilary. I have brought some order into the chaos.”
Becker swallowed heavily, hoping he hadn’t just broken out into a noticeable sweat. “Thank you, mother. You didn’t need…”
“And get that psychopath Richards to sharpen your knives. They’re all a complete disgrace. Kay has had some chicken breast for lunch; frankly, I had to practically dissect it with my fingernails, which was hardly satisfactory.”
This time the swallow was more of a gulp. “Yes, m…”
“Stop yes mothering me. I have cleaned your fridge. A culture more ancient than China was lurking there.”
****
Becker gave in to the inevitable and adopted a position of parade rest, hands clasped behind his back.
This was definitely turning into an interview without coffee.
So far, the Colonel had been appalled by the kitchen, distinctly unimpressed by their laundry system and viewed the state of their airing cupboard as a personal offence.
He hadn’t realised his mother held such strong opinions on towels and their proper placement. That diatribe had lasted for a full four and a half minutes during which she hadn’t repeated herself once.
Kay, the furry little traitor, just sleepily licked her grandmother’s chin.
****
“What did you learn at Sandhurst, Hilary?” the Colonel demanded after the full half hour rant.
“How to clean my boots and double space after full stops in reports, mother.”
Something that might have been an almost homeopathic smile sidled towards his mother’s face before being quickly banished. “And what did the Regiment teach you?”
“How to kill people more effectively, and that no one in Sterling Lines gives a rat’s arse for double spaces after full stops.”
This time the faint smile reached one corner of her lips, before making a terrified dash for a galaxy far, far away.
****
“And what has fatherhood taught you?”
“That most of the time I’m too fucking tired to worry about the state of my laundry cupboard as long as the pups are fed and happy.”
“And how do you balance that with the responsibilities of your career?”
“I still keep my weapons spotlessly clean…”
He ignored the mutter of “That’s more than can be said for your kitchen floor.”
“My men respect me, Lester values me, and occasionally I get to kill monsters. But I wish someone would tell him that even the army has changed their minds about fucking double spacing.”
****
“I shall send him a memo,” the Colonel said, finally allowing the corner of her lips to twitch into something that might, just might, have been a smile.
Becker found that even more terrifying than the ranting.
Kay, demonstrating no sympathy whatsoever for her father’s plight, snuggled up in the pup sling and started snoring softly.
“I hope she’s been no trouble, mother?” Becker ventured.
“She is far more stoic with nursery cough than you ever were, Hilary. She is next due some warm milk and honey in half an hour. She prefers it from her special spoon.”
Kay whiffled.
****
“Thank you, mother”
“I have made a note of your rota. I shall return at 8am tomorrow. If you are both called out overnight, you are to phone me immediately.”
“Thank y…”
“Enough, Hilary.” The colonel unwound the pup sling and passed the sleeping Kay to Becker.
With his daughter in his arms, Becker felt the stress of the day and the past 45 minutes with his alpha parent start to slip away.
With a brisk nod, the Colonel stalked out, back ramrod straight.
Kay blinked sleepily and gave a slight cough.
Becker promptly started to prepare her next drink.
****
Becker never saw the quirk on his mother’s lips as she strolled down the path and telephoned her husband. “Of course I terrified the little sod, Allan,” she said smugly. “You know he expects it of me.”
The Colonel had to admit to herself that her son’s thirdborn was an engaging child.
She approved of the sharp intelligence in the dark eyes and the brown-furred pup’s strength of character.
And her own offspring appeared to be coping as well as could be expected.
However, she would most certainly send James Lester a memo on the correct punctuation of military reports.
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no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 03:20 pm (UTC)That was sublime.
And hilarious.
And poor Becker.
And evil, evil Colonel; well done for facial control.
And finally, well done Becker for in a way standing up to her!
I'm sure that Lester will be happy to comply with the new dictates on punctuation...
no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 03:27 pm (UTC)It was good to write something more than a drabble. Channelling the Colonel is always fun.
LOL, Lester will claim that the military are clearly misguided and - not to put too fine a point on it - just wrong.
For the record, I'm on the side of the military in this one!
no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 03:31 pm (UTC)Oh, and I flat forgot to mention the "psychopath Richards to sharpen your knives" line! I almost snorted tea.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 05:25 pm (UTC)The Colonel is scary and lovely at the same time.
Thank you so much for this. I love pup!fic.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 05:30 pm (UTC)This was a lovely read 🤗
no subject
Date: 2022-05-07 07:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 07:26 pm (UTC)As I predicted Kay has the Colone firmly wrapped around her little paw.
Also Becker is under a lot of stress if he's started to obsess about army punctuation!
no subject
Date: 2022-05-07 07:51 pm (UTC)Punctuation matters! It took Becker a long time to learn to double space, so he took it as a personal affront when it changed. And he expects Lester to change, too¬
no subject
Date: 2022-05-06 09:47 pm (UTC)This was brilliant!
no subject
Date: 2022-05-07 07:50 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2022-05-07 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-07 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-12 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-12 08:45 pm (UTC)